Sunset Goodbyes
by saltedapples
Summary: After Jane and Lisbon hug at the cliff at sunset, they end up telling each other the truth of how they feel. But what happens when directly after that, Jane has to kill Red John? Crappy description, but give it a try!
1. Chapter 1

A/N - I based this fic on this amazing gif someone made (idk how to link it on here, I tried but it isn't working...) where it's just a line drawing of Jane and Lisbon doing the sunset hug, then Jane brushes her hair back and they kiss. I was literally just watching it loop over and over because it was memorising and... agh. Jisbon feels. So yes, this is kind of AU. Also because right after this, Jane goes off to kill Red John right then. I haven't actually watched this episode but I've seen gifs... so yeah. Making up some stuff. This also means the police/FBI aren't heavily tracking them because most of the Visualise thing hasn't gone down as badly yet. Idk. Just don't ask. Enjoy.

I'm planning for four chapters only and maximum.

In the moment after they broke apart, she looked the most vulnerable he had ever seen her, and that was saying something. Her eyes were full of tears, a few trickling down her cheeks, and she was looking directly into his. Her lip was now wavering, so he placed his hand against her cheek, using his thumb to stop it.

"Teresa, I-"

"Jane… please. Don't," she pleaded, her voice quiet and high like a child's. She diverted her eyes from his, her features starting to fall apart again. She knew what he was about to say, but if he said it…

But he _had_ to say it. Jane placed his other hand on her other cheek, lifting her face up so she was forced to look at him. He took a deep breath. He had to.

"Teresa. I love you," he forced out, trying to keep his voice steady.

She couldn't help it. A sob escaped from her, then another, then another, until she was full on breaking down.

Jane took his hands off her face, only to wrap her back in his arms again. Lisbon buried her face into his shoulder. She knew she should be embarrassed, acting like a teenager, but this was too much. They were all the right words, but it was entirely the wrong time.

"I'm so sorry, Teresa. I'm so sorry," he whispered into her ear, and, unable to stop himself, pressed a kiss just below it. He knew the reason she was crying.

"Jane?" she eventually mumbled quietly.

He kissed her cheek again, as if it was a symbol of encouragement. "Mm?"

Lisbon moved her head away from his shoulder to look at him, changing the position of her arms so they were around his neck. Tears were still pouring down her face, but she forced herself to, once again, look him in the eye.

"I love you too."

Jane looked back at her with overwhelming power, passion, ferocity. "I know."

And then, almost automatically, their lips were together again. How was it possible that their second kiss could be just as mind-blowing, if not more, than the first? Jane pulled on Lisbon's waist so she was as pressed up against him as possible. It was… electric. And it felt right. When Lisbon tried to pull away, to gasp for breath, Jane tangled the fingers of one hand into her hair, warm from the setting sun, and forced her back again. He knew he was being rough, but he didn't care; he had to savour the moment, _this_ moment, had to make it last long enough so that it would be permanently etched into his brain, so he could relive it over and over.

But finally he sensed that she needed to say something. Jane slowed the pace, hand on one cheek so he could place three kisses down her face, whispering "I love you"s in between each one, then kept his hand where it was, stroking her skin with his thumb.

Lisbon's voice was still quiet, but a bit stronger, infinitesimally stronger. "You're going to leave me, aren't you." It wasn't a question, and she didn't mean he was to abandon their… relationship, or what could be their relationship, after this moment. She meant he was going to go to Red John anyways, even after their confessions to each other, even after all of _this_, which was an entirely different thing altogether.

"I promise I will come back for you." He had said _for_, not _to_.

"You can't."

"I have to."

Lisbon broke away from his grasp, taking a few steps back, fresh tears leaking from her eyes. "You can't do this to me! You can't tell me you love me, an-and kiss me, and then go get yourself killed!" Jane realised that she knew that there was a possibility he wasn't coming out of this alive.

His voice was firm, bordering on angry. "I am **not** leaving you behind. I am **not**. I don't have a choice, Teresa. I have to do this."

"No you don't!" she shouted. "You don't have to do this, Patrick. You don't. You don't, okay, you don't." Her voice faded. She was lying to herself and they both knew it.

Jane took a few steps forward, closing the distance between them. "Please listen to me Teresa." He put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm going to go do this," he said slowly, ignoring the hurt in his heart at the little whimper Lisbon let out, "and, once it's finished, I will come back and find you." He kissed her softly. "I know this has all happened at the wrong time, I know that, and I'm so sorry for hurting you like this. But once this is finished, I'll get you, and we'll make a plan, and I won't leave you again."

Lisbon exhaled stuffily, her eyes closed, and leaned her forehead against Jane's. "I'm so scared, Jane. I don't want to lose you."

"This won't be goodbye. I owe you that much. I will kill Red John, and I will come back for you," he reiterated, wanting those words to implant in her brain, override her worries, something he knew was impossible, especially now.

She let out a shaky sigh, trying to control her emotions. She was fighting a losing battle - she knew that Jane had to do this, and she couldn't stop him from doing it. From killing the man who had destroyed the better part of his life, from finally getting rid of the last piece of grief that he couldn't seem to shake, even if that meant he would…

He would have to leave here, at least for a while. He would be considered a murderer. He would have to go to jail. Lisbon shook her head, grasping his neck. "Please don't leave me. Come back for me. I'll go with you, wherever you have to go. I love you," she said, those three words still seeming so forbidden to say, so foreign.

"Lisbon. I'm not lying to you." Jane kissed her again, lingering. "I love you too."

She leaned into him and engaged what would be their final kiss, hopefully only for the moment. It was bittersweet, more bitter than sweet, though. Her hands slid into his curls, and he wrapped his arms around her waist, forcefully holding her against him once more.

But time passed too quickly, and he had to go, he had to. Murmuring more declarations of love to each other, they started to separate; first, so that their lips weren't touching, and they were only left in an embrace, until they were only holding hands. They were both crying because it was so hard, too hard to believe the past hour had happened, that they were in love but it was probably too late, that this was really it.

"I'll call you once… once it's over. And if I can't reach you, I'll meet you _you know where_ at sunrise. I promise I won't leave you. I love you, okay?" He squeezed her hand before letting go, finally separating from each other.

"Patrick…" she mumbled, her face so hurt and broken and sad.

"I promise." He wiped his tears away, and began to walk away, walk toward fate.

"No… I mean, take my car." Lisbon pulled her keys out of her pants pocket, and tossed them to Jane. "I have some stuff to do. I'll walk."

He nodded. "I love you, Teresa. See you soon."

"Love you." And before she knew it, Jane was gone, too far away to hear the exclamations of protest and despair that escaped from her as the sun dipped below the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - So it's been a while since I posted or updated a fanfic on here. I literally have DOZENS in my Notes, but many are half finished or just... ehh. I've actually had this chapter, and several other chapters for this story, already written for months now. Sooooo eff it, enjoy.

She allowed herself five minutes to cry. Five minutes to breakdown and get all the emotions out of her system before she toughened up. She wouldn't have time to do it later. And so once those five minutes were over, Lisbon pushed as many thoughts related to Red John and Jane out of her brain as possible, instead replacing them with the mountain of tasks she needed to accomplish over the next few hours, if things went to plan.

'Went to plan.' What the hell did that even mean? There was no plan - all Lisbon knew was that either Jane would die, Red John would die or they both would die. Oh, and that Jane loved her.

And there she was thinking about it again. Lisbon internally shook her brain, clearing her thoughts. She could only focus on one possible outcome - that she and Jane were about to leave Sacramento. There was no doubt that that is what they would have to do.

Lisbon took one last look at the darkening seascape, before she took off at a jog for the nearest bus stop. She was able to catch the last bus for two hours that was headed back toward her apartment; the entire journey spent creating a virtual checklist in her brain.

Task One was to get in the shower, cause only God knows how long it would be till she could take another one. Relatedly, Task Two involved God, too.

Unhooking the chain around her neck, she held her mother's cross in her hand, running her fingers over it. She didn't have time to go to a church, so she made do with kneeling beside her bed. Whispering out loud, she said the Sign of the Cross, and then took a preparatory breath, already feeling tears hit her cheeks again. _So much for five minutes_.

Lisbon woke up on her bed seven hours later with a start. Her phone was vibrating against her chest, where she had left it after deciding to get some sleep once she finished her tasks. Even though she'd only been asleep for about four and a half hours, she did feel significantly refreshed, especially of negative emotions.

Her phone kept vibrating. She suddenly remembered why it might be going off - _Jane_. She hurriedly sat up and looked at her phone, finger automatically poised over where the answer button would be.

She was thoroughly disappointed, and worried, when on the screen flashed the alarm she had set so she wouldn't be late. With a sigh, Lisbon turned it off and lay back down on the bed again, staring at the ceiling.

He was busy. He would be okay. She allowed her brain to drift, just for a moment, wondering what he was doing. If he was thinking about her… _no_. She shuddered, stopping herself from thinking about him _again_, and got up.

The sky was still dark, so Lisbon kept the blinds drawn. She changed into a long-sleeved green shirt and black jeans, something comfortable, yet practical, and tied her hair into a ponytail. She decided against putting her gun against her hip, instead putting it in a purse, along with the money she had drawn from her account using the ATM around the corner.

Grabbing her phone again, Lisbon called for a taxi.

She walked around her apartment, giving it a final goodbye. She didn't know when she would next be back here, if she would ever be back here - Lisbon had called Cho and the Rigsbys, briefly describing the situation, and asking them to take care of her affairs if need be.

As she stuffed a spare change of clothes for both her and Jane into a backpack, adding in the purse, too, she looked wearily around her house, making sure she had done absolutely everything before she left. After some thought, she added some water and food into the bag as well. Finally, she reached up to the top shelf of her bookcase and grabbed the turquoise coloured box that lived there. It was nearly empty, but she still grabbed the little origami frog out of it, putting it in her pocket, and left the box on the edge of the bed.

It was then that the taxi driver beeped the horn. Lisbon sighed, a soft, sentimental sigh. Was she really about to do this? Throw away her life, her (almost) perfect life just so she could be with Jane?

She didn't need to answer herself. She walked out the door, locking it and leaving the key above the doorframe for her colleagues, should they need it, and said goodbye to what would now be the old Teresa Lisbon.

The coffee was wonderful. The best thing she'd had for weeks. It was perfectly made, with just the right amount of creamer, and rich, full-flavoured coffee beans.

Lisbon had been sitting outside the cafe for about an hour, now. She and Jane had come here, by chance, after a particularly gruelling case. He said he'd found it when he first moved to Sacramento. It was his pleasure on the days when there was none. Lisbon remembered the jump in her heart at the fact that he'd broken a bit of his wall down, just for her, so it became _their _place. Suddenly, it had so much more meaning.

No one else knew about this place, so it was their "safe house". She'd arrived just after it opened, the sky brightening minimally, the stars diminishing.

Now, however, the sun was gliding up into the sky, beams of deep oranges and yellows streaking haphazardly across the horizon. _Sunrise._

"He is coming," she assured herself. "He is coming, and he will be okay. He is coming." But Lisbon couldn't hide the shakiness of her hands against her mug, the thump of her heart that got faster as the seconds ticked by.

_He is coming._

_He will be here._

_He's only a few minutes away._

_…_

_No he's not._

_He's not coming._

_He's left me behind._

_He's not okay._

"Teresa."

_He's dead._

_He's… what?_


End file.
